Reckless

What if night were fallen now,
What if all were broken down,
What if you denied me hope?

Would I still follow you?

What if these deep things I’ve felt,
What if these dear friends I’ve held,
Pulled the rug I’ve woven long
From underneath my feet?

Would I still follow you?

What if she, that dearest friend,
What if he, that comrade strong,
Looked into my face with scorn,
Laughed and cursed you,
Turned and ran?

Would I still follow you?

What if faith were really all,
All the eyes you left to me?
Are they still too blind to see?

Would I still follow you?

Battered, blinded, scorned and bruised,
Crying for the ripping loss,
Frantic, flailing, as my world,
Toppled, fell, and left me
To shake alone?

Would I still follow you?

What if you had not made
The promises you’ve made?
What if you told me
That when the time came,
You would not own me?

Would I still follow you?

Would I shame-faced, turn away,
Try to forget this love affair,
Try to find some happiness,
Grasp at every wind
As though that wind were life,
And try, try to forget you?

Or would I laugh and hardly know
The agony the world could throw
In my face, in my soul?
Laugh and care not what you did
To me when my life was lived,
If only I had lived for you?

Am I too in love to see
The danger I am in?
Am I too in love to be
Afraid of anything at all?
Am I too in love with you
To care if it could ruin me?

Would I be able to hold back
From leaping from this highest cliff
Into you, the deepest chasm
If I did not know that you would catch me?

Tell me I would still follow you.
Tell me I would still leap.

Make me mad.
Blind me.
Obsess me.
Till there is nothing left of me
But the thing that loves you,
Desperately, and loves all the more
Because you are so good
That you will never let me down.
That is simply who you are.
Nevermind the safety it implies.
You are that good.
Let me smile and fall too deep
To ever be found again.

The night that would hurt me
Falls down in the face of your light.
The brokennes that would break me
Breaks in the face of your purity.
The fear that would make me gasp for air
Is denied its power. You are my air.

You give me hope,
You give me light,
You give me love,
You give me breath.
But these are only unexpected gifts,
Tossed in as perks,
Mementos of their giver,
Who IS my hope,
My light and love,
My breath,
Who’s realer yet
Than all these thousand gifts
He won’t stop pelting me with,
Every moment of every day.

Am I drunk enough on truth
Not to care, if only
My God is glorified?

Am I dangerously deep,
Sunk into this obsession
With your purity?

Am I too lost in you
To be saved by the flesh,
World, and devil combined?

Is this fall into your heart
Irreparable?

Let this kind damage be beyond repair,
Let this glorious fall be unstoppable,
And let these beautiful chains
That bind me to my God
Be unbreakable,
That I may still follow you.

Peace

Slowly, thoughts.
Don’t rush about so hard.
Gently, heart.
You need not break the world
With cries of terror
At its and your own depth.
Look up and see the Light.
Look down and see the Rock.
You are not lost.
You are not standing
On unstable ground.
Cry if you must.
Laugh if you will.
But be still.
Be small.
Be all
His.